A Study in Grey Stripes

My and my beloved

2009-04-20T01:11:38Z

IMG_3636, originally uploaded by mungo181.

Just like you cannot deny my cuteness, you cannot deny the love I have for this freakish human, my beloved Humbucker. We have been engaged for several years--we are taking our time.

Also, hey, I have a birthday coming up! I'm gonna be five!

Frankie on the Youtubes

2009-04-12T23:20:39Z

This is what i have to deal with all day! This animal running around in circles on a bed on which I should be SLEEPING!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program

2009-04-05T13:54:54Z

Poly, April 2009, originally uploaded by mungo181.

I just wanted to tell you how beautiful I am. Can you believe it?? Even tho in this photo I AM STARVING. If you look closely at that sentence you will see that I spelled the name of a foods. That's how hungry I am!

OK, maybe I just wanted to tell you how hungry I am. Imagine if I really could interrupt your programs with this important news? Food deliveries would come from all over. Which I would then distribute to the other starvin cats on my floor.

Parties!

2009-03-29T14:40:44Z

Hey everyone! My beloved, who is also shares our office space during the day, will be out of town! So I will be using the opportunities to have parties. Everyone is invitated!

Tuesday Night: Join me for cocktails!
on the menu: tuna and beef tartar with sprigs of baby parsley
signature cocktail: Rescue Remedy 'tini, garnished with 1 green olive.
special guests: Noah from down the hall will tell us about his three weeks in the garage!
Hank Lucat will tell us about his favorite cockfights, like the time Francisco Negro got into a fight over a card game with El Rey del chicharrones.

Wednesday Afternoon: Tea!
on the menu: crustless liver and tuna panini on challah
tea: fresh catnip with cream
special guest: the parrot from downstairs will tell us about the time he stopped a furniture delivery!

Thursday: Brunch!
on the menu: Babka french toast with sweet cheese, snaussages.
signature cocktail: Mimosas: sparkling water with sprigs of fresh young mimosa
special guest: Belle the Bull Terrier will tell us why cats are the superior species (she lost a bet to Lucat.)

I'm working on the menu!

Action Frankie

2009-02-25T18:58:58Z

sockproject
Originally uploaded by mungo181

I made a video for the sockington army! Sockington is the most popular cat in twitter. In this video, made at 12:30 am after a long night of school and shiastu work, I squirm around like a lamprey. I'm cute! But I'm not as cute as Poly. I freely admit that.

Phat Crab Wacka! That IS me!

2009-02-16T19:53:28Z

Your Inner Gangsta by crash_and_burn

What is yo name?

Yo gangsta name be

Phat Crab Whacka

You ride around in a

2004 BMW 530

Yo gang

Gary Coleman's Alleycat Thugs

Yo shoes be

Red and white Nike Dunk-Lows

Yo dubs be dis big, fool

904

How much money you got?

$410,146,615,840,323,597,993,591,209

How gangsta are you, bitch?

31%

NEW BOX NEW BALANCE

2009-02-08T23:24:49Z

Poly, early 2009, originally uploaded by mungo181.

I know, you're all like, POLY I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE, but NO. This is a new box! I am in my favorite size, size 6.5. It's cozy--perfect for the chilly winter we've been having.If you're 13 pounds like me, you might also like a size 6.5 new balance boxx. Axe your peeps to get you one! Or two!

You like how I'm extra furry this winter?? It's on account of my mother being a pallas's cat or a bobcat mebbe. I get extra fur when it is extra cold. In fact, weather people want to study me! Henrey is negotiating that RIGHT NOW for winter 2010.

I need to fire my staff

2009-01-05T00:30:09Z

Poly 2008, originally uploaded by mungo181.

they was supposed to be posting all my new names as they came up! and this did not happen!! and so, some of the names I used this year may be LOST. That is TERRIBLE. I hears the economy is pretty bad right now, so I am thinking of hiring a bank VP or investment banker to be part of my staff this time--do my typing AND make my investments!

here are the names as I recall. Please note that "Princess," "Emcee" or "DJ" can proceed any of them.

Sassparella
Stripezon
Strypor
Poly Pinga Punkass
Megadon
Mohammad Poli, aka Cassius Gray
Lady Yelverton-Quashie (we did blog this one, I know)
Punchpaw
Fists of Fury

I'm sure there were more! I am pig-bitin' mad.

Also, I"m still waitin on that call, Barack.

the X is for my Xtra toes

2008-12-24T14:26:59Z

I'M A GALLEYCAT TODAY!

OMG, look at me! I'm so cute! I'm in the dog post to contrast how much cuter i am than a PUG.

OBAMA'S CABINET

2008-12-22T02:18:34Z

Poly in her snackinet, originally uploaded by mungo181.

Obama, I am waitin on you to announce my appointment to your cabinet. As you can see, I have tons of experience! You could make me your press secretary. Watch this. "Ok, press peeps, we have limited time today because I need a nap. Helen, wot the hell are you still doing here? C'mere, I will let you pet me. OK, that's enough. We're done! no more questions, thank you!"

Whadchoo think? Also, I will tell you now, I WILL NOT TAKE A SHOE IN THE EYE FOR YOU.

Gotta go. Charm School finale is on!

MEATWATER!!

2008-12-16T14:40:12Z

OMG YOU GUYS I AM SO SUPER EXCITED!!

MEATWATER is a new super vitamin type beverage made with MEATS.

FB claims this may be from our friends at Dog Island. I don't care where they make it, I want some!

The Pr0k hocks and greens flava has smoked pork hocks, collard greens, potatoes. YUMS There is also a HAGGIS flava what is colored black for all you goffs out there.

HIZZAH. I thought today was gonna be stupid, but i was WRONG!

suck it, Trebek!

2008-12-08T03:23:17Z

Civics Quiz
You answered 30 out of 33 correctly — 90.91 %

also, I am compiling my list of the 10 most intriguing people for 2009. So far I got:

Wanda Sykes. I love Wanda, plus I heard she came out the closet. I got a closet, I walk in and out as is my wont.

Niecy Nash. Who want clean house? I do Miss Niecy! I could help at the yard sale!

Stephen Colbert. Will be be afraid of me? I am rather ursine.

Amy Poehler. I think I am bigger than you, Amy! I wanna see.

engineers who like cats. can they produce a guide to ME? I think not!

Angela from The Office. Oh, Angela, you have cat figurines and cat calendars. You dumped your true love for killing your cat. I would sit next to you all day with one to six dainty paws on your leg.

Pharrell from N.E.R.D. what is this seeing sounds business? i think i need you to break it down for me. Also, am IN the bathroom, so the girls gotta wait.

who is on your list?

I can't come up with a list of my 10 most intriguing animals because it would have to go up to 121

I AM GONNA TAKE DOWN FRANKIE

2008-10-28T16:35:24Z

omg i am so mad you guys, so check it, that dogdam ROOMBA woke up and started running around, so my beloved Humbucker politely removed my box so roomba wouldn't eat it. he set it afloat in the amazon. we have the amazon in our apartment. you probably do too! look for a cardboard box what say "amazon"--that is is. Frankie spends a lot of time in the amazon because he is practicing being Mungo for our reality show. So my box was afloat in the amazon. it was a very bucolic scene, even with that stupid robit runnuning around. but then...? FRANKIE YELLED BANZAI AND JUMPED ON MY BOX and he broked it. Humbucker made a repair (post-robit), but you know? Frankie should not be doing that. that's foolishness!

Poly "as" Squanto

2008-10-27T01:06:28Z

Lady Polyhymnia, originally uploaded by mungo181.

Holla everyone, so check it. I discovered I am a Pawtucket Indian! So I am gonna open a casino in my apartment, as is my right, at least that's what Henrey says. Frankie is gonna be doorman. IT'S FOR CATS ONLY, and small dogs, and other small mammals. You gotta know the password to get in. It's SWORDFISH, ok? we are gonna hire some pugs as bouncers.

LUCAT'S BIRTHDAY

2008-09-25T13:41:32Z

Hank on Blanket, originally uploaded by mungo181.

Lucat, I am axing your manatee Frankie to write you a pome. Here it is.

Listen:
You have heard of the Alley Kings
in the old days and how
they were great warriors.
Gruffy, the son of Meowly,
took many an enemy's can of food,
terrified many a crazy cat lady,
after he was found an orphan.
He prospered under the sky
until people everywhere
listened when he spoke.
He was a good king!

Gruffy had a son,
child for his yard,
sent by Bast
to comfort the people,
to keep them from fear--
Henrey was his name;
he was famous
throughout the North of Manahatta.
Young princes should do as he did--
give out treasures
while they're still young
so that when they're old
people will support them
in time of war.
A man prospers
by good deeds
in any nation.

Hank ruled the alley
a long time after his father's death,
and to him was born
the great Polyhymnia, fierce in battle,
who ruled until she was stoled.

After a while, Poly noticed the Great Hank
was missing. Where is that cat?
She heard he was living in a castle next door
to the alley, eating good foods but terrorized
by the Giant Weasel, Mungo.

She set out to save her father and slay the Weasel.
She failed, but she got foods, and lived
in the castle. Everything was jake.

Now Hank lives in a smaller castle, but in
a better neighborhood, with less roaches
and zombies, and nary a bat what flies
into the apartment. He is the foreman and
shop steward, and he is my mentos.

Also, he's got a few nice blankets.

-Frankie P'nuckles, 2008

My name today

2008-08-03T17:38:23Z

Is Lady Yelverton-Quashie

whaddya think? I like it.

Friggin Frankie

2008-07-27T21:13:29Z

http://twitter.com/BlackFrankie

has a twitter page, wth???? oh, blogging is too many words for him.

HANK AND FRANK HAD KITTENS

2008-07-24T19:36:42Z

OMG THEY DID!

OMG HOW DID THIS HAPPEN IT IS TOTALLY INSANE. FB were lookin at cats on craigslist because she is KRIZAZZY and she came across these and i was like OMGWTFBBQ???? I thought those dudes was neutered!!!!!! these kittens they had, they are off in a remote location, probably a radioactive island with japanese monsters. the kittens have FIV, but hey, that ain't bad considerin they had TWO DADDIES you think there would be more things weird about them like you know i dunno ferret faces or love of chupa chups.

THERE ARE FIVE. two henreys and three frankies. i don't kno when tehy did this but i was not involvitated or even APPRISED, I SWEARZ.

GOAT MILK

2008-07-14T01:37:22Z

I had the most amazing thing the other day: GOAT MILK. It tastes like milk and cheese, and also like a farm and maybe chickens and hay. I dunno whatall else, but it is incredible. FB boughted it and I showed some interest and she was all like OK poly but you were never interested in milk before BECAUSE IT WASN'T GOAT MILK, IDGIT. WOW. And then she had another bowl of cereal and IT HAD GOAT MILK and i went ABSOLUTELY INSANE WITH CRAZINESS and then I had some and then tonight? BACK TO SOY. Oh, i hate you FB. I thought I likeded you for a sec, but the goat milk is gone.

I am thinking of getting a pygmy goat. They look pretty small, and according to the video, you can keep them in the office! Since I am office manager, along with "person"nel, I am gonna hire a pygmy goat. I'll add goat milking to Frankie's job description.

Note from Foods Lady

2008-07-11T14:43:28Z

Henrey, my flossing cat, is participating in an online cat cutie contest on the publishing blog galley cat. Besides publishing news and gossip, editor Ron Hogan (also editor of the long-running blog, Beatrice) occasionally publishes photos of pets doing literary-type things. And you can vote for your fave!

here, Henrey is writing one of his stellar entries on polycat's news community feline_news

vote here! And see all the other entrants. If you want to vote for Whoopy, that's cool. He's pretty cute.

Poly will be back later. She has some exciting news about goat milk.

It's my pantry and I'll cry if I want to

2008-07-07T03:23:54Z

Poly in her snackinet, originally uploaded by mungo181.

Look at all my foods! Still, the fact that I cannot get snacks every time I axe vexes me deeply. I have written a letter to Senators Clinton and Schumer, and to Obama, axing that they look into this situation. Also 7 on Your Side, the Give Me A Break douche, and the president of the co-op. And the New York Times.

This is like that "water water everywhere but you can't make him drink" saying, ya know?

Weezer

2008-06-25T13:15:11Z

I know Finger 11 has a new video out, but I still think Weezer is teh best band for cats to listen to. why? two reasons: 1. the sweater song--who doesn't want to destroy a sweater?? IT'S A GOAL OF EVERY CAT. 2. pork and beans. I never had pork and beans, but it got pork and so I would like it. Lucat tells me it is made with sugar, which i like too despite the rumor around the school yard that cats can't taste sweet things.

stupid weezer won't let me embed the video because they are THE MAN, but here is the link. I know you all know this song aready, but my dum fudz B is in school. it's bad enough that i gotta have a FB wat work, but school too? THAT IS ALL KINDS OF BAT GUANO.

Horus Meets the God of Nip

2008-06-16T00:47:55Z

Check out this extra awesome video featuring a cameo by everyone's favorite THE GOD OF NIP.

Update on my health

2008-06-12T13:13:09Z

It's good! Thanks for asking!

Only this: FOODS B*TCH STEPPED ON MY DAINTY PAW! OWWWWWW. You know, she is like 40lbs or something. she is HUGE. It HURT! I lifted my poor injured paw and looked up at her with my big green eyes and guess what?? She totes gave me snackage. YAY. So that was good. Only Frankie got a snack too and he didn't get hurt. That's not fair! Mebbe next time he will get stepipated on and I will get a snack.

Also, I am asking for a new name every day. So far this week I've been Princess Lakawana, Slugette, and my new super villain name THE GRAY MOLD. or, if you're British, THEE GREY MOULD. I do think Princess Lakawana is a keeper.

She came in thru the bathroom window

2008-05-26T15:09:04Z

She came in thru the bathroom window, originally uploaded by mungo181.

Here is me last week sittin in the bathroom window. I look forlorn on account of my discovery. THERE ARE BIRDS ON TEH ROOF AND I CAN'T HAVE THEM. I axe Hank how I get to the roof because he knew how to do that in the last apartment and he said, "elevator." and I was all like WOT? because I been in that elevator and it only go up to 21 which is my floor. And Hank's too! He should totes know that. And so i axe him about that and he said, "you need the secret key. I have it somewhere. I forgot where." HE IS LYING. There are mourning doves and pigeons and sparrows, and sometimes SEAGULLS I AM NOT LYING.

my life is hard.